My 22nd birthday: A birthday I don't want to look back

I just turned 22 and it was not a good birthday.

November 9, 2022. I officially turned 22 years old. When it comes to your birthday, you often get excited because it is time you celebrate another milestone. Not only that, you receive birthday wishes and gifts, blow out some candles, hang out with families or friends, and do many other things you can do on your birthday. When it comes to your birthday, the whole universe supports and celebrates with you. You will feel that day is different from other days; inside you, there is a flow of happiness and joy. It's so unique, and it only happens on your birthday.

It may sound selfish, but in November, I celebrate my birthday for the whole month. November is unique because it is the beginning of the holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. November is also when the weather turns cold, which is my favorite weather. Imagine yourself sitting in front of a fireplace, holding a cup of hot chocolate, and listening to a jazz playlist. Oh my God, it is so relaxed and so peaceful. Ok, let's stop that.

I always love my birthday. Since I was a little child, my family usually hosted terrific birthday parties. Then, as I grew up, the birthday parties began to limit only to close family members or sometimes just me and my mom. But the most precious thing is that I receive many birthday wishes from everyone around me. They usually text me in the middle of the night, early morning, or day. Or some people send gifts. All of those make me happy and grateful because I can see myself as an important part of their lives, and they still remember my birthday and send me love. However, things changed on my 22nd birthday. It was the time I saw the truth.

If you are a Facebook user, you probably know that Facebook has a reminder of whose birthday is coming or today. You can set it up for your own by turning on or off the notification of your birthday. And believe me, it can tell you everything once you turn it off.

When you leave it turned on, on your birthday, you will receive wishes from people you know or people you don't know floating over your Facebook page. Of course, you will feel so delightful and appreciative. But guess what? Only a few of them know who you are or remember your birthday. That's the fact. Whether you believe it or not, you cannot deny it. If you don't mind if people do or do not remember your birthday, then you can keep turning on the notification. If you are wondering about that, go ahead and do it. It may surprise you.

A week before my birthday, I sent my wishes to a friend in college because he used to help me a lot in an Economic class, and I am forever grateful for what he did. That's why I always keep his birthday date in my mind, and there were years I went out and had dinner with him before his birthday. He moved to San Francisco right now, so I can only send him birthday wishes and hope he can return to Orange County for Thanksgiving. He said I was the first to wish him a happy birthday. But then, he told me that he had turned off the birthday notification a few days before and explained that he wanted to do a test to see whether anyone remembered his birthday without the help of Facebook. Later that day, he texted me the test result, and it looked like only five close friends, including me, remembered his birthday. "It's sad," He said in a message. "But you know, it's good because I can now know who cares about me. You should try."

Since then, I cannot let that thought out of my mind. I know you can turn off your birthday notification on Facebook, but strangely, I never did it before. I want people to wish me and show that "Hey, I'm important to them." Then, I realized he was right; I should do this test. I turned it off and waited.

When I was waiting, I kind of expected the result. Many would not remember. And just like that, it was true. Nobody gave a damn about my birthday. Even my closest friends and family members are from Vietnam and America. It broke my heart a little. I don't call myself the center of attention, but I think, "no one remembers at all?"I was so sad. My so-called close friends didn't care about my birthday even though I always remember theirs without any reminders. When they need my help with anything, I'll always be there for them. But now I think they just need me when they need help, and what happens after that? They don't care - for example, my birthday. They didn't like or react until I posted photos of my birthday. In addition, my family didn't remember, and that is something. The pain has taken to a new level which deeply hurt my feeling. Ok, my friends didn't remember my birthday. It hurt a little bit but not that painful for me to suffer or feel bad. But family? I am speechless. It doesn't mean anything to them at all. I cried for days.

I don't want to remember my 22nd birthday, not because no one remembered. It is because I realize what I did, or my existence is not enough to impact their lives. Throughout this test, appreciate anyone who remembers your birthday without any reminders from Facebook because, with them, you have a special place inside their heart; they understand you, love you, and consider you an important part of their life. Some people around you still care about you and welcome you. No matter where you are or what happens to you, they'll always be there for you, like you are always there for them when they need you. It doesn't need to come to your birthday to realize who's good to you. You can also see it through your daily life. You will know when you text someone and share with them about things that upset you or bring you down. If they reply immediately and jump into the conversation, you will know they are a part of your life. You will mean nothing if they don't care through their indiscreet message.

Why don't you do the test by turning off your birthday notification on Facebook or not telling anyone about your upcoming birthday? The result may surprise you.