I Promised That I Would Never See Her Again. And Then...

I want to tell you a story about me and this girl. Perhaps, she is the most special girl that I have ever met in my life. I came to the U.S. on December 26, 2015. After the winter break, I started school. I continued the second semester of my sophomore year at Westminster High School, which I call the most crucial corner-turning of my life because it led me to many things I could never expect. I came to an English class in the first period. I was new and still bewildered. I had yet to get used to American life or American education here. I still had to learn a lot at that time. When the teacher told the class to grab the textbook for some assignments, everyone got their books, and there was no left for me. Then, a Vietnamese girl appeared in front of me and asked me if I had a textbook. I said no. She smiled and handed me her textbook. I took it and said thanks. I was like, WTF? I didn’t know who she was, and she gave me the textbook and shared it with someone else. I was so surprised. That was the first kindness that I had ever received during my first time in America. And just like that, it was my impression of her.

Soon, we became friends. Closed friend, more specifically. I always love to help people around me. Whenever my friends or someone else at school asked me to help them with homework or assignment, I was always ready to help. However, when I looked back at that time, I realized there were moments when they only used me to do something for them. I believe I was so naive back then. One time, I had a dream about this girl, which I still remember until today. I don’t recall any memory of everything that happened in that dream. But for some reason, me and her were sitting together. Alone. Then, she leaned her head on my right shoulder and said. “Please, never leave me!” That freaked me out. But it is carved inside my head, and I can never get it out of my mind. Since then, I have called that dream a reminder to myself that whatever happens, don’t abandon her. It is like a prophecy sort of thing. Whenever she made me mad, sad, or unforgiven, I stayed angry for a few days and forgot everything or was not angry because of that dream.

Things changed. I changed too. Soon, I became a different person. I became more malevolent whenever someone pissed off or did something bad to me, even if what they did was small. I turned out to be a selfish person. But it doesn’t mean I don’t forgive and make peace. I still do. With this girl, I am telling you that I never did anything bad to her. I always treated her well; I never denied helping her with anything and sometimes cared about her whenever she had trouble. Contrary, she made me sad and angry all the time. Of course, she didn’t do it in front of me. She did it behind my back. She often said bad things about me, thought I was not good, and even blamed me for making things worse. Because I had not turned into this person back then, I could still forgive her. But now, things have changed. When the dam cannot hold the water anymore, it will break. My dam had broken. I began to realize her true identity and her true character. I stopped being friends with her. I blocked her social media. I ignored her. And finally, I pretended that she no longer existed. It has been a year since I decided to do so. My life still went on. Even though she still appeared at some parties with our friend group because we have a group of friends. Sometimes we went out for drinks or dinner. She wanted to get close to me by trying to talk to me. But I ignored her completely. She was sad, of course. One of my friends told me she was disappointed that I had changed. Why didn’t she ask herself why I did that to her? I didn’t want to confront her because I knew she would deny it.

Until one beautiful day, I learned about what was going on with her life recently, I was shocked and speechless. When I got home, something like a bolt of lightning struck my head. It made me change 360 degrees immediately. This girl has a life that is harsher than anyone in our group. But she often keeps silent and never tells anyone because she doesn’t want to bother them. She only shares if she feels comfortable. Then, that dream came back to me. I realized that this girl is currently going through a lot of things in her life and she is trying her best to stay strong as she can. It made me feel bad that I was so selfish. My narcissism and ego are so high that I put myself in an upper position where no one can hurt my feelings, even though sometimes I do the same things. For example, I did to that girl. Whenever she wanted to make peace with me, she meant it. She wanted me to forgive her for whatever she had done to me. She still wanted to be friends with me. Now, I have understood and I have forgotten everything. We met each other during a friendly lunch. And we are friends again. I know one thing for sure that both of us have understood each other more and will no longer dare to break each other’s hearts anymore.