A Pearl Always Shines

Mom has been an inspiration of my life.

In the fashion world, a pearl is a symbol of elegance and beauty for a woman. There is no deniable of the importance of pearl in culture. But to me, it is not usually a piece of jewelry that brings women's position and beauty to a brand-new level. It is also about a woman who is everything to me. That is my mother, whose name in English means “pearl.”Her name has told everything. A pearl always shines in my life.

Since I was in elementary school in Vietnam, one of the most exciting essay topics I had to write was describing my mom. It was not simply telling how my mom looked; it was also about what she did for a living, how she influenced my life, and what her role in the family was. But to be honest, I could not describe my mother in the way I wanted or express my feeling to her because I had to follow my teacher’s outline and not change it. It limited my creativity and the true sense and chances to understand my mother.

The beginning of a pearl.

Only some things are perfect. Same as a pearl. When the clam gives out a pearl, it is a raw pearl. It does not shine in the first place. The experts or the jewelers had to hone the pearl to make a shiny pearl. With my mom, life has extraordinarily buffed her to shine bright like today.

During her childhood, she was so thin that she got malnutrition. It is very to understand. After the war, Vietnam fell into poverty, and the government was the only resource for people to live, which would provide food, clothes, and appliances. It was a common thing. Her family back then was poor. My grandparents had to work hard to provide for the whole family, including my mom and her siblings. But I will not discuss her childhood because there is much to discuss. But as the main title of this article is “A Pearl Always Shines,” I will tell you how she always shines even in a very dark place. My mom is a strong woman who never knows the word “Give Up.” Yes. Even though there were a million difficulties that her family had to overcome during that time, my mom had to keep her chin up and find ways to overcome them. She helped the family by delivering ice with her cousin, putting newspapers on each family, or looking after my aunts when they were little. She was on top of the class, kept good grades, and was interested in science. That is why she became a doctor. The best doctor that I have ever known. It is not only because of her professional work; it is also about her gesture of kindness and big heart. She cared for her patient in the best way she could. She was always ready to help. Whether they are strangers or families, just seeing they need help, she will leave everything on one side and support them. That’s why everyone around likes her, and it makes her some enemies too.

They always say that there must be an influence in your life to motivate you to do what you are doing right now. My mom is lucky to have my grandfather as her influence and inspiration to become a doctor. My mom is from a doctor’s family, from my grandparents to my aunt, uncle, and mom. Good genetics, right? My grandfather mentored my mom from the very beginning when she got into medical school. My grandpa said to my mom. “If you want to be a doctor and don’t know how to love your patient, care for them with all of your heart, sympathize with their circumstances, you can never be a good doctor.” That is what my mom always remembers. And she told me that it was not only for doctors but also for all kinds of jobs.

“Divorce doesn’t mean the end of love.”

When it comes to her love life, my mom never feels shy to talk about her relationship with my father. To her, it was a fantastic time of her life. She met my father in a computer class. During the 90s, Vietnam began to access modern technology, and many courses were being opened to teach how to use computers. My dad, however, was a star of that class because he was good at it. They sat next to each other and soon fell in love. They often went out for ice cream, ate pho, or walked around the park. After three years, they got married and had me one year later.

Talking about my dad, my mom described him as a family man who cared about everything in the house, a great dad who loved his son with all of his heart, and a wonderful husband who understood and loved his wife without changing his heart. But you know, life is full of unexpected things. We can’t ever know what will happen in front of us. My parent’s marriage did not last forever as people wished them. It had been on and off for years before they divorced in 2009. After their divorce, I lived with my mom, and she never showed any sign of hate toward my father nor talked badly about my father to me. She always cares for him even right now. We are in the U.S, and he is still in Vietnam.

“If people ask me whether I want to come back in time and love him again or not,” She said. “My answer will be YES, I still love him in the first place because without him, I won’t have my son, and without him, there would be nobody else that loved me like your father. Divorce doesn’t mean the end of love.”

Crying in the dark.

The story of how I was born is a dark story that my mom will never forget because it was the moment she almost lost me to the hands of Death. Yes, it is true. The weather that night was a little cold. 2000 was the year that every parent wanted to have a child because, according to the Asian culture, the dragon year is a year of luck and prosperity also 2000 was the year changing from the 20th century to the 21st century. The whole hospital was crowded. It was 1 a.m. My dad, my aunt, and my uncle were waiting outside when my mom was pushing me out. She described that moment as “so painful and so scared”. But the best is not yet to come. After I was born, I was crying in just a few minutes and stopped. One of the midwives, who is my mother’s friend, found something not right when she looked at me. She reported to the doctor and immediately, she carried me out of the room. My dad, my aunt, and my uncle saw that and did not know what was happening. My dad ran after the midwife, and my uncle and my aunt came in with my mom. Do you know where they took me? Into the emergency room. The midwife said I could not breathe normally and I looked so pale as if I was going to die. My dad could not stop worrying. But my mom was crying out loud when she saw me inside the incubator breathing oxygen.

“The whole world collided in front of me after I knew what happened to you,” she said. I could see the tears rolling down her cheek. “I was afraid that I would lose you before I could hold you in my arms. Looking at you fighting for your life in the incubator, I kept praying to Buddha for your life, for nothing would happen to you. And a miracle happened. You were fine after a month in that incubator. I could tell how happy I am when I could hold you in my arms and your dad was so emotional to see you. You are the one that helped me to shine again”.

A new beginning.

My mom and I came to the U.S in 2015. Like every immigrant coming to a new land, it is the beginning of something new. A new life. A new chapter. To me, coming to the U.S is a dream that I always wanted to come true when I was in Vietnam. I love American culture and I found it very easy to adapt. But with my mom, it was not an easy thing for her to get used to. She doesn’t speak a lot of English, she doesn’t like American food, and she found everything so different from her life in Vietnam, which is the term I called culture lag. She felt homesick. Of course, it is a common thing for all adults when they come to a different country and say goodbye to their hometown where they had been living for their entire lives. But with my mom, after all of the new beginning struggles, my mom had finally overcome and been able to be herself again.

“Choosing between staying in Vietnam and going to America is such a difficult decision for me. But I think about you, about your future and I can see that it is the only way for you to grow up in an environment that gives you the opportunities to reach your dream. Besides,” My mom chuckled. “A medium told me that your zodiac animal is Dragon, which means Dragon must fly away in order to achieve something big.”

That’s my mom. She sacrificed everything in Vietnam, her doctor’s degree to be here with me. She began again. She worked in a restaurant as a cook, then she worked in a floral shop, and now she is taking care of old people. One thing you should know about my mom is that she used to suffer from a herniated disc, and the pain killed her every day from her daily activities. She took all the harsh words from my family here because of some misunderstandings or because they envied my mom. I remember there was a time, a relative came to my house and yelled at my mom, using all the worst words to insult her. I was not home but when I found out, I could not take it and came to their house and fought back. No one can touch my mom and I won’t let anyone hurt her. From that moment, nobody would dare to say bad things about my mom and they have shown some respect to her. Now, after all of those difficulties, my mom once again had shown her strength and her ability to beat every obstacle. She can be able to speak English well, she knows how to eat American food, and she shines brighter than ever.

A pearl always shines.

Knowing about your mom’s life is a great privilege and happiness that any child can help. They can know about their mom and love her more. A mother’s love, to me, is the most sacred power ever because there is nothing that can replace the love of a mother for their children. When a child lost their mom, they lost their wings but they can learn how to walk on their own feet in the future. But when a mom lost her child, she lost the whole world and nothing can rebuild her world again. To me, my mom is everything in my life. From her difficult childhood to her darkest day, from her most respectable career to the scarification to be in America with me, she has shown the precious of a pearl, which life has honed her into a shining pearl. And it is still shining in my life. I look at my mom and I can see an honorable woman who is kind with people around, a devoted wife who always loves her husband no matter what, an amazing mother who cares for her son, and an influence on my life. I feel I am so lucky to be her son and to have her beside me. This year, in 2022, my mom turns 51. Still young, still beautiful, still elegant. Mom, thank you for everything that you have done for me and I wish you all the best in your life and be a shining pearl of my life forever.

XOXO.