#FFF

Tonight, California is so peaceful. I spent time sitting down and thinking about what happened to my life recently. With a glass of red wine next to me and a little touch of jazz, I asked myself a question. Why do I feel like I'm starting to fear the people I call friends around me now?

Source: Spotify

It's not like we've played together for a day or two, we've been together for a few years. Called understanding each other can be less or more. But the main thing is to get close to each other and have fun playing together. Oh my God, it's childish to think like that. It's not fun, but if it's close, put its father away. Understand each other? Please, not at all. If we really understood each other, we probably wouldn't have this status. It's also strange to think. I myself am not a soft-spoken person. I always speak my mind and curse directly in the face or said dirty words. For a long time, I have been playing with people who I think are good friends and worth playing with. I am not the type of person who play badly with my friends or stab them in the back. I think they know that personality of mine and consider it normal because I really didn't mean anything, just get angry and then stop. But until a point I discovered that someone said I disrespect them. Hey, redefine that word, buddy!

Before, I had a funny thought in my head. I'm just afraid of not having friends or losing friends, so I always try to make sure that people don't hate me, always create good feelings, and I find myself always helping those people regardless of how good I am. Busy? No. Why? Because I think they need help, they come to me because they trust me. Thank you? Rarely think about it. Sometimes going out to eat, or asking for a drink is fine. As long as I help them, I hope they have a good result and stay by my side. Yes, I really need them. Without a lover, at least friends are the things to make my life happy. Friends, if only socializing, are many. But to say close friends are very few. Now it's probably even less because I can brush it off myself. Last time I accidentally brushed it off, I felt regretful, tormented myself, and carried the body to apologize to those people. But this time huh, HAH, no regrets. It's even fun on the other hand. I feel like I'm letting go of a burden. There is a bestie who always loves me, understands me, and tolerates my personality. Having a special friend always by my side to encourage me to get out of my comfort zone, to hang out with. There is a very cute cousin who always helps me with some projects. Well, having such close friends is nothing more. We must also know how to choose friends to play. But if everyone collects it and calls it a friend, it's too naive. We're not the type to hang out with people like that. We should remember that they have a group to play with, who we are. Smile because they don't know how to support each other. We only find each other when there is a problem, but say we are friends, please! Saying that is enough. But again, that's all because I don't know who I'm talking about. If you read it, it's because you're sensitive or maybe I'm talking about you. So that's it!