I Have A Different Thought On An Open Relationship

I was once in a relationship where I thought it was a sinful love affair. Surely, we all have heard of "open relationship,” right? To put it simply, an open relationship means that two people come together for sex, in which the lover of each party must agree to let them have sex with another person. If the lover in that relationship doesn't know anything about his lover who is in an open relationship, it will be considered adultery. Of course, every human being is capable of adultery, but those who are genuine or know how to control themselves will overcome the temptations of the vortex of human love.

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In 2022, I started an open relationship with a same-sex lover. I still remember clearly that it was late at night, I was surfing Facebook when I received a message from a brother I had known for a long time. Long story short, I had a crush on this guy for a while and took all my courage to confess to him, but he refused because, at that time, he also had someone's attention, and they were dating each other. Actually, it's not entirely accurate to say I have a crush on him. At that moment, I wanted to have sex. And he gave me a feeling of “I want to be made love by him.” Like some Korean actors, he has a perfect body and a handsome face. I also told him I wanted to have sex with him and get to know him. He told me affectionately, “I think you should do it with someone you really love to feel comfortable.” Because of his statement, I accepted that I would find the person I love and only do it with that person. But I seem to have completely forgotten his words and my promise. He texted me after a while, but we didn't talk to each other. He inquired about me and pushed the story to the point that he wanted sex with me. Oh my God, I was surprised and dumbfounded. I thought I was mistaken, but he really wanted to have sex with me. I asked him why, and he replied that he and his boyfriend are both top, so sometimes it's uncomfortable to have sex, but that doesn't mean you don't love each other anymore. They still love each other to this day. His lover works far away, so he sometimes drives home to visit him. I didn't know what to say because I had nothing to say. He told me he was in an open relationship. I didn't know what an open relationship was then. After listening to his explanation and searching Google, I understood briefly about open relationships. He explained that he wanted to have sex with me because he had feelings for me, wanted to satisfy his lack, and started an open relationship with me—at first, I asked him if he remembered what he said to me earlier. He remembers, but he no longer lives according to that concept. He added that he really wanted to have sex with me. At that time, I was still pondering over whether I should do it or not because, firstly, I still thought that an open relationship was an indirect way to have an affair; secondly, I had forgotten him for a long time; and thirdly, I have doubts about sex. I told him to give me time to think. He said okay and immediately sent me a picture of the place. Oh my God, I'm kind of instantly convinced. The next day, I asked him more if I had sex, where I would do it, and what I would expect. I've had sex with two or three people before, so I understand that each person has a different requirement in sex to satisfy their own and the other's needs. He spoke very succinctly. "I'll let you host the game." Which means he wants me to host, prepare this and that, and surprise him. I started buying lube and condoms.

We met on a Friday afternoon. I didn't have to do anything then; he was also free. The whole house is just me. Before the date of making love, I did a thorough shaving as requested by him. I wasn't prepared to surprise him at all. I go with the flow. When he entered my room, he kissed me passionately before I could do anything. I didn't object to anything but let him do whatever he wanted. Then he took off his t-shirt and pulled his pants down. I did the same thing and saw that part of him was already erect. He grabbed my head and pressed down. I knelt at his feet, and my mouth started sucking there until a stream of semen shot into my mouth. Then he asked me to lie on the bed, spread my legs, and stuffed it inside me (with a condom). My legs clung to his neck. That feeling is wonderful and exhilarating. I moaned contentedly and happily. It's been a long time since I felt that way. I and he changed a lot of different positions to increase the pleasure of sexual desire in each of us. I remember that I couldn’t walk for two days after that day. I'm already starting to like this so-called open relationship. But I couldn't have imagined that it was the beginning of a sinful relationship. After making love for the second time, I hugged him on the bed. For a moment, I asked him if he was in such an open relationship that his boyfriend was still acceptable. He turned and said nonchalantly, "My boyfriend doesn't know anything about this relationship, and I don't want to let my boyfriend know either." I was once again dumbfounded. I immediately realized that what I was doing was cheating. I'm having an affair with someone with a boyfriend I don’t know. The cover of the open relationship was so perfect that it blinded me. I blamed myself for being able to trust people so easily. I thought he told his lover he would start an open relationship with me, but no. It was just an excuse that he was trying to cheat on someone else.

After that day, I decided to stop this open relationship immediately before it was too late. Obviously, that's adultery. Nothing can be denied. I feel sorry for myself and sorry for his lover. I didn't want that to happen, but I cheated on someone already in a relationship in the name of an open relationship. It sounds cliche, but I feel sad and guilty about what happened. I told him to return to his girlfriend and be happy with him. I terminate the open relationship, and I promise that I will consider any open relationship wrong. Maybe people will see the open relationship differently, but for me, it is just an indirect way to have an affair. If someone is in an open relationship or about to enter an open one, check the other person thoroughly and ensure this is not a sinful affair. Be alert.